Simple Pleasures

Last night I had an especially good sleep. We had just put fresh, clean sheets on the bed, and I had just finished a nice, longer-than-usual shower and donned my coziest pjs, fresh from the clean laundry basket. Slipping into bed was heavenly.

Of course all this was not so much luxury as it was necessity. Norah woke up extra early yesterday, then wanted to cuddle in bed with me after Francis had fed her breakfast. She fell asleep for nearly an hour, and I was happy to have the extra time to doze. At a little after 8am, I woke to hear her coughing, then - before I could react - she vomitted all over herself, me (including my hair!), and the bed. We started our day with a mother-daughter sponge bath, because I find lifting 24lbs in and out of the tub tricky with my big belly.

She spent most of the day clearly under the weather. She was extra affectionate (some days I call it "clingy") and took an extra nap. It was low-key but tiring in a funny way, so come bed time, I was grateful for the extra cozy & comfy sleeping arrangements.

I Like My Belly

I've never been thin. I'm certainly not tall. And I've never fit into society's definition of beauty, though I don't consider myself to be obese, "too" short, or unattractive. My whole life I've struggled with body-image issues, and much of my youth was wasted on self-esteem crises. As I grow older I find I'm growing in my self-acceptance, and my view of my physical self is being healed. I'm pleased that I'm maturing in this respect (and of course the unconditional love of my husband is very helpful).

When I'm pregnant, however, it's a totally different story. When my belly swells as baby grows, I can't help but feel beautiful. I guess it's a result of feeling fulfilled in my femininity.

When I'm pregnant my skin clears up, my hair gets shinier and more manageable, my nails break less, and my eyes change colour ever-so slightly. So far, through a pregnancy and a half, I've been spared stretch marks (surprising, since I have many faded ones as a result of puberty). And I just plain love pregnant bellies.

My body, of course, has not come through pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood un-scarred. The scar from my c-section is, superficially speaking, ugly. It's purple-ish/red and raised in several places (a result of it opening a week and a half after Norah was born). My breasts bear many scars from a horrible early breastfeeding experience and subsequent infections in the cracks. And, of course, I didn't get to my pre-pregnancy weight until getting pregnant a second time, when horrible "morning" sickness caused me to lose 14 pounds.

But I wear my scars (and even the extra pounds) as a badge of honour - a testament to what my body has done for the sake of my family. I love the look of my large belly, especially towards the end of my pregnancy with Norah when she ran out of space and my belly looked like it had corners.

Whenever I see pregnant women in the mall, the grocery store, church or anywhere else, I just want to affirm them on their beauty. In our weight/body-obsessed culture I know it's easy for many women to feel less attractive as their body changes. I just wish every woman, every mother, could know how gorgeous the pregnant body is on every level.

(This picture was taken just 30 days before Norah was born. I wanted to have something to celebrate the way I felt about my pregnancy, so Francis set up his camera on a tripod and set the timer. I love the way it turned out.)

One?

My birthday girl, when she was just 1 day old -

How can my baby be one year old? Didn't I just bring seven and a half pounds of squirmy cuteness home from the hospital a month or two ago? Who is this twenty-three and a half bound beauty walking around my basement, delighting me with unsolicited kisses and hugs?

Starting on Saturday evening around 7pm, I started playing "One year ago right now...", mostly talking to myself, but also to anyone who had the dubious fortune of being in the same room. It started with "One year ago right now, we went out for wings with Francis' co-workers. I ordered the HOT honey-garlic, in hopes the spicy food would help bring on labour." Two hours later: "One year ago right now, my contractions started, but they weren't that bad." I even woke up around 2am on Sunday and thought to myself: "One year ago right now my contractions got too bad for me to sleep any more." This continued until 3:37pm on Monday: "One year ago right now, Norah was born!" I'm sure this got on Francis' and my mother's nerves, but they humoured me nicely.

Norah's birthday was on Monday, but we held her first birthday party on Sunday afternoon. We had somewhere between 20 and 25 people (family and close friends) in attendance. The birthday girl was not quite herself, as she was battling a case of bronchiolitis AND an ear infection. So if you're wondering why she doesn't look too thrilled in the picture, that's why.

The FOUR of us Kwoks at Norah's party -
Considering how miserable she must have felt, she did very well at the party. She was in a good mood the whole time, and other than having NO interest in eating cake or ripping wrapping paper, she was pretty close to perfect.

Norah's birthday cake -

This is the princess castle cake I made for the party. Well, to be clear, my mother baked the cake and cupcakes, and I just decorated. I whispered to Norah, "I had fun making this, but don't expect one every year!" It took me close to an hour and a half, mostly because constructing and icing the towers was a longer process than I'd expected. Mom also made golden pig cookies (which required some explanation for the non-Asian guests) to honour the fact that Norah was born in the year of the Golden Pig - very auspicious in the Chinese culture. I wish I'd gotten a photo of them, but I was too busy eating them!

Of course Norah's first birthday also happened to fall on Chinese New Year, so my mother in law took Norah, my mother and me out for Dim Sum, then over to one of the schools she works in to introduce us (well, mostly Norah) to some of her co-workers. When Francis got home, we sat down to a lovely dinner (courtesy, again, of my mother) of homemade chicken soup and fergosa. It was a wonderful way to spend the anniversary of my firstborn's birth - and, more selfishly, the anniversary of the day I became a mother. That's a day I wouldn't trade for the world!

2008

A TV character once said - I think it was on Ally McBeal - that if reflecting on the past year doesn't make you cry either tears of sadness or tears of joy, then it has been a waste. I can honestly say, based on that criteria, that 2008 was anything but wasted! I figured I'd do a quick year-in-review post. This is mostly for my own need to look back, but read on if you care to.

January: The highlight of our year came early! My due date was January 25th, so after a feast of hot wings on the 24th (putting my faith in the old wives' tale about spicy food inducing labour...), my active got labour started around 2am on my due date. After a long and frustrating (and at times scary) labour, Norah Catherine Wei-Chu Kwok was born at 3:37pm on Saturday, January 26th by c-section. I was blessed that my mother was able to board a plane once she found out I was in labour, and she was at the hospital with me (along with Francis and his mother - but that was to be expected) for the last several hours of my labour, and she stayed for several days after to help out.

February: I turned 29. To be specific, I turned 29 sitting in the waiting room at the ER with an IV lock in my arm, awaiting the results of the blood test that would tell me if I did indeed have a post-op abscess. Luckily, I did not. I did, however, have 2 other breastfeeding-related infections which required 3 kinds of antibiotics. My parents and grandmother came to visit, so Gooey could meet his first grandchild and Nana could meet her first great-grandchild. Later in the month, Francis, Norah and I packed for our first family trip - a ski weekend at Mont Tremblant with Francis' parents, his brother, his sister and her husband and baby. Looking back I must have been CRAZY to agree to go away for a weekend with a 3 week old baby, but I'm glad I did.

March: We spent March Break in Halifax, introducing Norah to my family. She was 6 weeks old when we first took her on a plane - I was 14 the first time I flew! Norah was baptised on March 30th - Divine Mercy Sunday. We had wanted her baptised as soon as possible after she was born, but the new pastor at our parish doesn't allow baptisms during Lent. It was suggested we go elsewhere, but after working at that parish, at that particular Mass, for 4 years, it meant a lot to us to have our beloved community be witnesses to such an important moment in our daughter's life. My sister, Jenna, and my brother-in-law, Damian, are Norah's godparents.

April & May: Drawing a total blank here... I honestly can't remember anything newsworthy from these two months - which likely means I'm over-looking something significant. *Sigh* My brain is not what it used to be.

June: This was another big month. Francis found out he got a full-time permanent teaching position at the high school where he had been teaching as an LTO for the year. We were both thrilled, as the new job would mean being able to buy a house, and the school itself is such a great place for him to work. We went to Halifax near the end of the month, to prepare for Jenna's wedding. It ended up being a rollercoaster trip, however, as a week before the wedding we lost a cousin and a second cousin, both suddenly and tragically. We weren't able to attend Shana's funeral as it was in St. John, but Tommy's funeral was... well, I don't even know how to describe it. It was, I suppose, exactly how it should have been, under the circumstances. Undoubtedly one of the hardest days in many of my relatives' lives. The wedding, however, was a beautiful celebration and the affirmation of life and goodness that many of us needed. Jenna and Patrick were glowing, and we were overjoyed to welcome the good Mr. Craine into our crazy family.

July: We spent a day in Barry's Bay celebrating Jenna's birthday and Norah's half-birthday. It was wonderful to see my sister in her own home as a married woman!

August: Our good friends Tracey and David got married, and Francis and I were honoured to help out with the wedding: me as Matron of Honour, and Francis as a musician at the Mass. We had our first real family vacation, just the three of us. We spent a few days in Toronto, wandering around down town, eating amazing Chinese food and visiting with friends and family.

September: On one spectacular day near the end of the month, we found out two big pieces of news: we were expecting baby #2, AND our offer had been accepted and we were soon to be home-owners!

October: We took posession of our new house on October 17th. I figure having a mortgage was the final piece in the "grown-up" puzzle. We did some preliminary moving and painting for the next couple of weekends, thanks to the help of Francis' family and some good friends.

November: We finally made the big move to living in the new house full-time. Emptying out the old rental place was a big pain in the butt. We did a LOT of purging - many bags of garbage/recycling, bags of things to give to SVdP, and a lot of bigger items that we gave/sold to some friends. And yet, when we started unpacking at the new house, we realized we still have too much stuff! I think more purging will be among our new year's resolutions...

December: Norah's first Christmas: celebrated in Halifax. Norah's first tooth: showed up on Christmas morning. My uncle died: on Francis' 27th birthday. Norah's second tooth: showed up on New Year's day. Norah's first steps: also New Year's day.

So it's been a wild and wonderful year for the Kwok family. Parts of it were hard, but that's how life is, so we've chosen to learn and grow from the challenges, rather than whine about them.

We're looking forward to even more fun and excitement in 2009 when we welcome two new nieces and/or nephews, at least one more first-cousin-once-removed, and of course our own new bundle of joy!

Food Friday

I've decided that Fridays will be my day to post some of my favourite recipes. Lately, I've been on a Christmas baking kick which, among other things, has included several varieties of biscotti. I have two favourites so far. Here's the first one:


Gingerbread Biscotti
Ingredients:
1 cup sliced almonds
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup molasses
3 eggs
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tablespoons baking powder
3 teaspoons ginger
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
Directions:
1. Place the almonds on a cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes, stirring halfway through until golden. Be sure to keep a close eye on them, they can burn quickly.
2. Allow almonds to cool, then chop into small pieces and set aside.
3. In a large bowl of an electric mixer, beat sugar, butter, molasses until smooth. Add eggs, one at a time, beating after each addition.
4. Using another bowl, stir together the flour, baking powder, ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and almonds. Add dry mixture to wet mixture and stir to blend.
5. On two greased cookie sheets (or cookie sheets covered with parchment paper), using floured hands, pat the dough into 4 flat loaves, spacing them evenly on sheets. Each loaf should be about 1/2 inch thick, 2 inches wide and the length of the baking sheet.
6. Bake in a 350 degree oven until just browned at edges and springy to touch, about 18-20 minutes. Halfway through the baking turn the pans so they bake evenly.
7. Leave the biscotti on the cookie sheets until just cooled, then cut into long, 1/2-inch thick diagonal slices.
8. Turn the slices over and arrange them close together on the baking sheets and bake again at 350 degrees until browned, 15-18 minutes. Transfer to racks to cool completely before dipping, drizzling or storing.
*Melt white chocolate chips (or baking squares) in a double boiler with a bit of shortening (about 1 tbsp shortening per cup of chocolate). Use this to drizzle over the biscotti or dip one end of each biscuit in it and place on foil or parchment to harden.

Norah and Santa

'Tis the season...

We took Norah to meet Santa for the first time the other day. I had two good reasons to hope it would go well. First, friends of Francis' family run the Santa photos at the mall, and they gave us the "good" Santa's work schedule. Second, Norah's grandfather (my father), Gooey, has a beard and glasses, so I figured she probably wouldn't get too weirded-out by Santa's appearance. Both of those things coupled with the fact that she almost never makes strange with people gave me a certain amount of confidence she'd do well. She did. And here's the picture to prove it.